bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
