I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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