From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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