So drunk its hurt
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
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This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
