Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
