u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
