We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
