Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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