Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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