how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
