youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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