everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
