Where are you?
In a non slutty way
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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