me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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