Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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