This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
