Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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