My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize