I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
