Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Update, blind date is cute and fun.

(248): View more from Michigan

Scratch that, blind date just threw up.

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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(518): View more from New York

i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.

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(253): View more from Washington

I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.

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(812): View more from Indiana

sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.

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(941): View more from Florida

Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I get a little bitchy. We all know that

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(443): View more from Maryland

When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?

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