We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
