SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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