I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
