Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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