apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
