Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
