so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
