i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
