I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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