So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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