there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
