I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i now understand why vodka
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
