but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
