the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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