I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
