At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
