We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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