it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
