What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
