i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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