just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I skipped work to stalk him.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
