Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
