i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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