hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I supernannyed him into submission
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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