So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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