I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
