They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
