Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
