dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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