Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
