Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sorry my hands just texted you
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
