Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
