Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
