We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
