i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
it's like iHOP with fire
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
