Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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